Sunday, June 14, 2015

It's not easy being blonde, Kermit!

Being blonde was never a problem until I took a job in the Australian Outback. You see fresh water was far too precious for showering. It  was an issue that loomed large, because my hair is of the fine, wispy variety. Already bleached to within an inch of its life, I was sure I’d be bald inside a month unless I came up with a solution fast.  Now I’m nothing if not inventive. So when the boss’s wife presented me with a litre bottle and suggested that I should fill it from the rainwater tank, just in case I needed a drink during the night, I thought I'd found a solution to my problem. 


 All went well ... until one day I noticed a miniature ceramic frog on a groove in the corrugated iron from which the bathroom  was constructed.  When I went to pick it up, you guessed correctly ... it jumped.  I wasn’t perturbed it was very tiny. However, it grew and so did its brothers and sisters. Huge ugly brown frogs took over the bathroom. I found them in the sink, their heads poked out the drain outlet,  and they stared up at me from the toilet pan. 

  But that wasn’t my only problem. The shower water seemed to take forever to drain away.   By the end of the week  I was standing in a permanent puddle. The frogs were in their element!

 Now although I might write about kick-butt heroines, the truth is I'm not one! However on this occasion I gathered up my courage and complained. No problem the very next day the boss got to work on the problem which involved re-routing the leach drain.

It was a big job, but by the end of the day the workmen were filling in the ditch  Feeling pleased, l collected my toiletries, including my contraband water. However, not wanting anyone to discover my guilty secret, I wrapped the water bottle inside my towel.  Imagine how I felt when as I stood chatting the bottle slipped out. 

In a life of embarrassing incidents that one ranks high! However, there is a bright side, I used my experience of station life to add authenticity to my debut novel, The Biocide Conspiracy. The governess in that story is made of sterner stuff than me. Click here to sample or buy.